I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier…

inspire-agony

THE TRUTH : Pain is usually gain to someone else other than you!

Dear folks,

In a futile attempt to stage a silent protest against the various forces that run in conflict with my life in general, I try not to blog. As expected, not only it was futile as said earlier, nobody cared and so did I! Heck, dealing with the despicables surrounding me is life consuming to say the least. It really effect you one way or another. Being sleep deprived comes to mind first. Yesterday night was the worse night ever. I usually fall asleep by 9pm and wake up around 4am due to unknown causes before arriving at the office in the wee hours of 5.30ish.

Last night I went to bed as usual at 9pm but was rudely woken up by a telephone call from the office asking about something work related that didn’t really mean much to yours truly groggy sleepy head. Soon after ending the pointless call, I found myself couldn’t sleep! I was wide awake despite having barely asleep for 1 hour. I paced around my tiny living room for an hour or so before reading some comic books. By 12am, it was quite obvious that I wasn’t going to get some shut eye anytime soon so I turned on the TV and staring at it aimlessly. Some documentary or talk show was on but I couldn’t concentrate as I was too worried why I couldn’t sleep.

A couple of hours went like nothing and I turned the TV off before continuing on my pacing about in the living room for 1 hour plus minus. Yup, no sign of a yawn or drowsy feeling coming on. Drank a few cups of water and continued fruitlessly my pacing around before feeling light headed and sleepy at 4.30ish am. I went to bed happily and was shocked to wake up to a wall clock showing 7.05 am! OMG! I ironed my clothes before splashing some water on my face and dressed up (yeah right!) for work. I arrived and clocked in for work precisely at 8.00 a.m. whew!

Well, so much for going head to head with life (or the lack of it). Oh, my trusty MSI laptop had an accident which damaged the old DVD/CD-R/RW drive disenabling me from running the Oblivion game cd. Great! So I tinkered around the old files and folders in the laptop and found an old song from 2006 sung by The Killers. “All These Things that I’ve Done” is the title. Quite catchy lyrics and certainly carries some memories to me. You see, in 2006, I landed myself a contract gig with a state government agency as an assistant legal officer.

It was very challenging and of course a heavy responsible to shoulder. As usual, in a search to find meaning & a bit of solace, the sounds coming from the radio once in awhile offer some semblance of hope philosophically. That’s when the song by the Killers came into play. Its really although very much catchy but doesn’t really mean much. Just like my writing, probably a way the composer vents his frustrations and anger. Here are the lyrics courtesy of www.letssingit.com

When there’s nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on

I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know – no you don’t, you don’t
I wanna shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I’m so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don’t you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out, yeah

And when there’s nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain’t changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don’t you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out, yeah.
You’re gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you’re gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you’re gonna bring yourself down

I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier

[Time, Truth, Hearts]

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don’t you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out, yeah.
You’re gonna bring yourself down, yeah.
You’re gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, oh don’t you put me on the back burner
You’re gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you’re gonna bring yourself down

Over and in, last call for sin
While everyone’s lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I’ve done
All these things that I’ve done
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

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TOUGH LOOKING :They’re both; having souls and are soldiers

Yup, life is tough, hard and suck for some of us. One need more than soul to live it out. Probably some army training I guess hehehe… Hmm as for me, I consider myself fortunate if only I can hold on to dear life until the next weekend… SIGH!

2 responses to “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier…

  1. Dude.. seriously i pity u.. wish that u got that transfer u long for, coz i think that was the time u were excited bout something after some time..

  2. Thanks bronk…

    It’s been a looooong time since…

    Sorry cannot go out for lunch nowadays… really don’t have the time! Really!

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