After several draft entries, I still couldn’t find the mood nor inspiration for yet another dabble of words and phrases. I will be taking my much needed rest for three days. Others in my office seem to get leaves hassle-free and as easy as an email. But for me, it’s just pure pain in the ass. I really beg your pardon friends for my unbecoming language here but I think I do indeed has earned the right to use such words here.
You see, I asked for the three measly days of leave more than a fortnight ago but somehow or rather Mr. Pain-In-the-Ass (PINASS) managed to overlook two emails reminding of my request. More strangely so is that some airhead idiots at the office can easily go Cuti-Cuti to God Knows Where (and why too) whereas I have to spent 15 precious minutes today around 6 p.m. to justify why I need 3 damn days off. In fact, Mr. PINASS went further to scrutinise my reasons, mode of transportation to my personal and private destination (which is local where I like to spend money for the benefit of the economy), questioned my family’s financial inadequacy’s to provide me with suitable mode of transportation i.e. a car vis-a-vis a motorbike, questioned again my motives for my leaves and later on added salt and pepper a dash of ajinomoto to my injury by saying that I should only take 2 days of leave instead, regardless that I have still 69 days of unutilised leaves as well as getting 19 days scrapped off last year automatically because I couldn’t carry it forward no more to this year.
Seeing his persistent pain in the ass attitude, I bluntly said that I don’t wish to take a 2 day leave any more but will proceed to request for a holiday of 5 days in June when he is away abroad on official business to which he promptly said NO! OK, either you have a problem with me or you are a problem by yourself to the world Mister! Look here, PINASS, I have been in the service under various nomenclatures at various organisations and compensated with a various amount of numerations for a variety of responsibilities. All in all, under my belt is a humble 7 year 49 days of service with a mere 1 Emergency Leave taken in 2008 due to a sore throat that required a herculean effort and courage to muster a gulp of water without shedding a drop tear for sheer pain and agony. And that was 1 day EL for seven years! I would like to pose a question here for the people right in the office whether anyone can actually best my claim if not match it? I sincerely doubt it since even Mr. PINASS himself casually took an EL last month for some lame excuse of his sick grandmom / grandpa or relative being admitted to the hospital.
I have friends here also who are bleeding in their 8th month pregnancy and still is being chided for taking a half day off to go to clinic for check-ups and yet Mr. PINASS himself enjoyed a full day of so-called unplanned, unforseen and unavoidable EL! Now if that isn’t pain in the ass, I don’t know what is! I am not the most productive person in the side of this planet nonetheless. It will take me a more significant amount of time and effort to get things done compared to others. That is why I start working at 6am until 8pm every single shitty day at the office. That is of course not counting the Saturdays I have to spend to finish up loose work and what-nots. You see the fire that once lit this soul to persevere, endeavour and march on in the face of adversity has long since left this hollow shell. Loosing the love of my life (UIA that is) by failing to get a permanent job there really took its toll. I love that place too much.
But of course that is not a selling point for getting special treatment but then again it should count as something in the department of ‘trying’. Heck, you get for free a charge of Attempted Murder for the simple reason of Trying AND Failing to Murder Somebody. If so, then at least I should get something for my ATTEMPTS to catch up with others. Unfortunately for me, it is a resounding big NO and just mere apple polishing so fond of by Malays (or malaise is it as so propounded by Obefiend?). In meetings where I happen to be absent (!) due to official engagements, only then that I get pats in the back from Mr. PINASS in the line of “Oh yes, that guy has a lot on his plate and somebody should help him out”. That is the nearest I get in terms of recognition or assistance for that matter. In fact, my former big boss in UIA once reminded me by saying that; “in life the better you are at work, the higher certainty you will be rewarded with more work!”. Doesn’t seem to be too far from the truth, I’ll say!
If all of these are not enough, Mr. PINASS asked me to get my colleague to actually cover my shitty duties for mere 3 days when in fact he approved leaves for others without a single whiff of mention for anybody to cover his / her duties while away! He sternly reminded me also that when my colleague will go on leave, I am to replace and cover him! All of these because I was too stupid to come clean with my pending tasks which are actually already ahead of schedule but because it is still pending (because the event will occur next week and not today!), Mr. PINASS displayed his trademark MENGGELABAH character. I once heard him preach in our weekly sermon that MENGGELABAH is also a trait of the Devil! I wonder in all honesty whether the Devil actually advocate for such blatant overkill MENGGELABAHness?
I also expect things will be worse in the office once I am back partly because of this posting (since some wise ass will someday forward it to Mr. PINASS for which I don’t care) or because I sent a semi blistering email to the office in an acidic tone showing my appreciation to a friend who was willing to cover a few measly days off. For non-Muslims perhaps, all of these would be indisputable evidence that there exist no god in this universe. Fortunately, Allah is my personal Protector and to Him I leave my business and worldly affairs. And so, I was supposed to leave on a jet plane (don’t know when I will be back again) but it seems that it is getting harder each time just to do that. Sigh, quitting sounds so much satisfying especially thinking of the people in the office finally have to move their butts about when I am not around.
Of course, a wise person would say that for every storm there awaits sunshine. But to me, the worse that could happen is whilst waiting for that elusive sunshine, I soon will BECOME A PINASS myself without even knowing it. That my wise friends, is the greatest loss of all capable of damning us in an eternal storm without even a ray of sunshine or hope.
Or perhaps have we already been damned?