Ramadhan is already 3-quarters ahead of packing its bags of goodies in preparation of its saddening departure. Like so great many things in life (as well as bad ones), it all have to end sometime. Personally, I rate this particular Ramadhan extra special this time around, for me that is. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m not bragging here saying “I finally have the Grace of Allah completely sealed and booked”. Nay, and on the contrary I dost worry in such manner as what Saidina ‘Umar al-Khattab once lamented;
“…should in the Hereafter there is an announcement made that everyone will enter paradise except one, verily I am most afraid such one person wouldst be none other than myself”.
Sunsets: Always Strike Me with A Sense of Melanchony
(picture courtesy of travelblog.org)
Indeed, the key of Paradise is neither handed over as a matter of birthright nor can it be secured through pure unadulterated servitude to Allah. That is a fact that should be affixed in our life and heart all the time. Without His complete Grace and that alone, the fragrance of paradise would be an absolute impossibility and tantamount to no more than fanciful dreams.
Of course, I am not writing a sermon here for not only I lacked the knowledge but also it would belittle the handful of more knowledgeable readers (than I am) who cared to glance EPI. I do actually missed writing EPI now, more over during Ramadhan because of its extra-specialness. Ramadhan for me is not only a bountiful month created specially for ‘practicum of lessons learnt 11 months earlier’ but it is a month charged with auras of mystery, discovery and an overall sense of serenity. These so-called auras do not however emanate (quite fortunately!) from the hassle and bustle of Pasar Ramadhans nor thankfully originate from the endless parades of Raya-songs-blaring-shopping-complexes.
Old Time Favourite: Much of my past life seems to have some close connection with Jalan TAR (picture courtesy of Nazley)
These auras are akin to thoughts of good tidings. Though it yet to materialise, by merely thinking of it will cause one’s face to beam with joy, the heart to pump faster and the chest swelled with anticipation. Why Ramadhan is such a mystery to me? Well, apart from the much sought for lailatul qadr, strangely many acts of impossibility are committed daily and quite easily. Examples are the procrastination of smoking, (umm no I don’t smoke anymore – quit 4 years ago) the very absent of hunger pangs that accompanies the mornings and noons of our daily lives and not forgetting the sudden cessation of evil urges (it is still there albeit in manageable quantity!). These are of course very simple examples but remain a mystery nonetheless if you’d care to scrutinise further.
Why this month is a month of discovery? Because of the aforementioned mystery surrounding the month, you suddenly realise that you seem to feel more than your normal 5 sensory apparatus can afford to tell you. A quick sit-back-and-take-a-look of your usual life will rear more perspective than usual. A soul searching during this month will earn you extra in-depth sights where it normally would yield none. Simply put, just listen to the plethora of evergreen Raya songs, whether you like it or not, it will callously invoke sentimental feelings for no apparent reason (longing to balik kampung when you actually have none?).
Roots: Wished this was my kampung to go back to
(picture courtesy of backpackingmalaysia.com)
And lastly why Ramadhan conjure a spell of overall serenity and calmness? Where has the rage, anger, spiteful energy and hate wondered off or if they are still here, why they only manage to rear their ugly heads less frequent? And has time been secretly added to 25 hours now? Or did the polluted air has been cleansed up and someone pumped in fresh oxygen? All the pain in life has been magically diluted and much serene has been restored and to some extend amplified. For some, Ramadhan is hardly different from all the magnificent feelings associated to falling in love. Truly, Ramadhan for me is an exquisite gift and bounty that are glittering with mystical beauty; harbouring many a succulent pleasures which must be chiselled out carefully but fervently and enjoyed most dearly.
For me being down in the dumps most of the time, life for the past few weeks has miraculously become fascinating with each turn capable of presenting me with a mystery, a discovery or just a plain serene event. A stark contrast of the usual rumble tumble and grumble that are usual hallmarks of my going-throughs on earth. Alas, with the remaining few days of Ramadhan, I sit by the window and glanced through it (via the specks of dust present) at the world outside whilst pondering this question;
… will these three auras accompany me in my yet to be concluded adventures? For the world is made irrelevant with them by my side and thus numbing myself and casting me a sense of forbearing against senseless indulgences of pleasures in this, oh so mortal coil…
Friends, I bade thee all Salam Kejayaan 10 Hari Ramadhan Terakhir, insya Allah!