Dear Friends and legions of fans of Teratak Anna Abadi,
In a few more postings, I believe EPI will be branded as the true source of gloom, doom and all manner of sadness in this world. It has been a vicious cycle for yours truly to be acquainted with some beautiful souls via the internet; never to meet in person but have so bonded in mutual bliss of enjoying what few simple pleasures life has to offer to those to sought it – only to have it ended without either one knowing it until it’s too late.
You may remember my sombre tribute to Mr. Cloudman. Well, the cycle continues for EPI as the news of the passing of another friend was only made known to me through an accidental Google search. And that person is none other that Allahyarhamah Azdriana better known as Anna of Teratak Anna Abadi. A brief introductions is warranted here.
Teratak Anna Abadi (TAA) was one of the few early sites dedicated to modern Malay poetry and musings in 2003. More on substance rather than form, her site was rather spartan and humbly hosted on Yahoo’s Geocities (now defunct) before moving on to a forum based site. The move was motivated by Geocities’ tendency of become a hacking target by script kiddies and computer programmer wannabes alike. Living to her down-to-earth self, she avoided publicity such as posting her pictures (ahem… self portrait detected on EPI!) and remained quite anonymous except to a select few, close friends.
A glimpse of history for the FBzens of today’s age – Netizens who were active in 2003 – 2006 era, where annoying social sites never really caught on (thanks to shyness I think) will remember that the internet was alive much in the form of instant messaging using mIRC, Yahoo Messengers, ICQ or postings via bulletin boards. Webhosting after all during this brief period, was still an arcane and luck-dependant (rather than knowledge) endeavour.
Because the amount of distraction on the net was limited then, a true circle of fans formed around TAA with each of them a counted, active and known member of TAA (me included huhuhu). Each contribution to TAA was voluntarily and for purposes no lesser honourable than pure and absolute enjoyment of inner expression for all – member or not. Of course, the true highlight of TAA was Allahyarhamah’s poetry and various writings. She was eloquent, gifted as well as having the knack to be able to offer soothing words that trouble the hearts of many.
As for myself, TAA was unique with Allahyarhamah’s chosen background music (this was the era of simplicity remember?) entitled “Wish” which was rendered in midi format. (‘Wish’ by the way was the work of the Japanese instrumental group S.E.N.S) It took me sometime back then to search that song but I have it here, here and here. It was pure coincidental that I, to borrow a trademark, stumbled upon TAA in 2003. Feeling rather melancholic that night and alone as usual in the offices of IIUM, God has shaped that our paths to cross then and thereby blossoming a true and real friendship.
Soon after, I contributed a number of poems to TAA before hackers brought the site down and leaving Anna a devastated soul. TAA lost all of its postings as I remembered from the attack. Alas, backing up during this time was very expensive and cumbersome. Even I didn’t save a copy of my poems sent. Heck, email was a meagre 2 megabytes to begin with. With the help of her fans, TAA was ported to a forum hosted by Invision Power Board. TAA during those years became a local hangout, a watering hole for distant travellers searching for a short reprieve from the shortcomings of this life.
Indeed, on this very morning of a Saturday dated October the 16th in the year of 2010, the sudden urge to revisit stuff left behind was all overpowering. Yet, this urge was too late to matter much compared with if it would been a Saturday in 2005 perhaps. Allahyarhamah has since passed away on the 26 December 2006 at a tender age of 29. Sadly more, bits of this information was hard to come by and not forthcoming. Google, you tried your best, my friend!
From the various postings of TAA fans, I learned that after the Geocities’ attack, Allahyarhamah left a wish that all of her postings, poems, writings and forum to be deleted when she is no longer with us. According to her, she couldn’t bear to glance over websites of her two departed friends; all static and left without care. Thus, she wished that none would have to endure such pain having to see her sites unattended to and constantly reminding them of her passing away.
Her close friends carried out that last wish to the letter and deleted all of her sites and forums. Whatever remains on the net are personal collections of her postings by fans everywhere. And that my friends, is another personal blow for myself. As much as I would love to link or repost her work here, I have to decline myself that pleasure and instead honour that simple wish. After all, TAA was all about simplicity and sharing what it mattered most in those times; life and what it means.
Sinar mentari pagi
Menyapa aku di kamar ini
Mendengarkan bisikan yang lalu
Jendela yang berabuk ini
Kubuka luas menyambut rezeki tertulis
Lalu angin menerpa laju
Mengusik pada yang silam lagi
Kopi susu panas yang kuhirup
Santapan pagi rutin harian
Kali ini ia serba kurang
Bila ingatan lampau kian mengusik
Ajakan itu aku sambut jua
Komputer kuhidupkan lagi
Enjin pencari setia kuseru
Teratak Anna Abadi kau dapatkanlah ia
“Maaf website itu tiada lagi kini”
Ia hanyalah tinggalan masa
Sekelumit di sana secebis di sini
Berlalu ia sudah nyatalah aku yang leka
Keyboard di hadapan ku
Tidak pernah sesunyi ini
Aku tersentak di kerusi ini
Sukar ku terima hakikat ini
Setelah sekian lama
Akhirnya kau pergi juga
Lantas kugapai kenangan yang ada
Kuhimpun pada jari jemari ini
Lalu kulirik halus dan sempurna
Sebuah munajat yang kupanjat ke Illahi
Semoga roh kau tenang dan damai
Sehening jiwa yang telah kau dambakan
Dengan nasihat dan puisi pelembut kalbu
Menyuluh kelam hidupku dahulu
Perjalanan ini akan berakhir juga
Cuma jalan-jalan ini tidak lagi berteman
Dengan tuntunan tangan mu itu
Yang senantiasa menawarkan onak
Jendela ku rapatkan kembali
Ternoktahlah sudah sebuah lagi kisah
Hendaknya ada hikmah dan hassanah
Untuk mengisi kekosongan di hati sanubari.
~ tuanwujian ~
16 Oktober 2010